Traditions

All families have traditions, some are unique, others more run of the mill. But whatever they are, this time of year seems to uncover the bulk of them.

In my family, for example, the holidays are a time to torment my mom with the holiday decorations. The festive houses that spell "Noel" are rearranged as many ways possible to spell "Leon", "Ole", etc. The small pink, ceramic elephants my dad received as a gag gift find their way into the nativity scene, carefully watching over the original figures. Ornaments and other various items are hidden, moved, and turned this way or that, so that all her meticulous decorating is just slightly out of place when guests arrive.

While it may lose something to those outside of the family, this scene from a couple of years ago is probably the most intricate in its execution. Kudos Luke, I wonder what Coca Cola Santa will be up to this year...

Tis the Season...

As adults, we sometimes forget that feeling we had as kids when it comes to the holidays. We get cynical, bogged down with life, bills, etc.

And then we have kids in our own lives, who remind us just how fun the holidays can be. They stare in awe at the tree and decorations, they exclaim "thank you" so sincerely, they make us stop and remember to enjoy this time of year.

I'm thankful to have one of those little ones in my house to help me remember, and try to slow down and enjoy it all.

Happy holidays!

Trick or Treat

Happy Autumn!

Latest project... complete!

Finished. Finally. This took far longer than expected, particularly with a toddler who doesn't allow for as much free time as I once had. But, despite the fact that he's now seven months old, I hope baby Elliot will love it.
Next project, the Fibonacci blanket for the next baby due... hopefully that will go faster.

Dinnertime

We are now at an age where playing pretend happens fairly regularly.

This was in preperation for our "dinner" the other night.

She...

She is two. She has opinions. She is girly, with a touch of tom-boy. She thinks teal skirts match blue t-shirts. She would wear her Yo Gabba Gabba t-shirt and electric blue ballet flats every day if you let her. She plays the drums, on her head, with spoons. She will switch pacifiers four times before bed, each time insisting on a particular color. She refuses to eat vegetables. She refuses to eat some fruit. She refuses to eat, well....a lot of things. She tells trees to be quiet, and does not like saying "night night" to sheep. She wears underwear over her diapers. She likes Curious George and sitting on Gomez. She likes to dance, with flashlights, in the pantry. She will tell a bug "bye bye" and "love you" as you kill it with a tissue. She thinks everything she doesn't see is "hiding." She makes us laugh daily. She is our mighty, mighty Q.

Co-pilot

I know that I am a very lucky person. I probably don't acknowledge it enough, or reflect on it as often as I should. But, when push comes to shove, I know deep down how fortunate I am.

For starters, I have the man pictured to the right here. I have been fortunate to have him for over a decade. First as friends, then as best friends, then as so much more (well, it wasn't quite as simple as that, but the how isn't so important.) We will have been married eight years this September. Eight years. It hardly seems possible that he's been putting up with my idiosyncrasies for that long (well, longer...)

He is my best friend. He knows me better than anyone, and can read me better than I can read myself sometimes. He seems to know when something is bothering me before I know myself.

He is goofy, playful, the yin to my yang with Q at times. Daddy is crazy, wild, adventurous. Mommy will read you books and help you sweep. But together we fit well, and are raising an amazing little girl.

I am guilty though, guilty of not letting him know how much he is appreciated. Guilty of taking him for granted, of thinking that after this long he just knows that I love him, that I need him, that I can't imagine my life without him. Guilty of forgetting that like me, he needs to hear those things and be reminded of them from time to time.

For that I'm sorry Luke. I love you, with all my heart, and I appreciate all you do. From the small (like taking out the garbage) to the big (like providing us with our beautiful home). It doesn't go unnoticed. I may forget to mention it, but I am always thinking about it, about just how lucky I am.

Thank you for being my co-pilot.

The World According to Gabba

We are a Yo Gabba Gabba family. Some people hate that show, some people are terrified of it, but we have embraced it. In fact, I find myself getting excited when I see a new episode will air, perhaps more excited than I should be.

For Q's birthday (and for mine), we went to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live. She wears her YGG t-shirt any time it is clean (and sometime when it's not). And when all else fails, we can pull up an episode from the DVR and all is right with the world.

This also means that several aspects of Gabbaland have floated into our real world. It's something not everyone would understand, but fellow parents of "Gabbaheads" know.

-Clean up time is not possible without singing "clean it up, clean it up, pick up the trash now..."

-We have many dancey dance times each day- our latest favorite is the "March" and "Crazy Daisy"

-Muno, Foofa, Toodee, Brobee and Plex are normal words in our vocabulary.

-We often discuss the party in our tummy, and which foods would like to go to said party.

-Muno, a large, red, one eyed monster should be scary, but instead is probably the most loved of the characters. I don't question this for some reason.

-Q is not only not scared of Biz Markie, but beat boxes with him, and waves and says "Bye Biz, Love you!" when "Biz's Beat of the Day" ends.

-I find it normal for my toddler to say 'break it down' and point down while saying it. In fact, I adore it.

-Plex is a buzzkill, there, I said it.

-I find myself listening to, and singing the Gabba songs on my iPod (for Q) when she is nowhere around.

We are all Gabba, and I'm ok with that, In fact, I love it. But please, oh please, just keep Dora away. Far, far away.

This face...

Q is 2. I must remind myself that these days, as I feel like I spend much more of my time being irritated, frustrated, feeling tested by such a small little person.

I know it's normal, part of the growing process, neccessary I suppose. I also know that in the grand scheme of things, her "terrible twos" are far far less than other children, and for that we are lucky.

But still, a challenging meal, a struggle at bedtime, and I doubt myself, feeling like a bad mommy. I know I'm not, but those moments get me.

And when those moments get me, I need this face. This face... this little face reminds me that I'm doing ok. That she is happy, healthy, smart, beautiful, and normal... I look at this face, and I know I can keep going... this face has my heart.

Eight Years

I love you Nana, and I miss you.

I wish you could be here, to see us all now. To meet the newest great grandkids, to smile, to laugh, to teach me how to be a better person, someone like you always were.

I try to remember as much as I can, so I can tell Q someday about you... some memories fade, but others are vivid.

Like the sleepovers at your house while Mom played bridge, and getting to sleep in your bed until she came home because I was too scared to go upstairs alone.

Or the BLT sandwiches you told me stood for bacon, lettuce and toast since I didn't like tomato.

Or walking to the playground at the school near your house, to run and jump on the bridge.

Or playing in your attic, your basement, discovering bits of your past.

Thank you for being a wonderful role model, for your daughters and granddaughters, and for loving us all unconditionally.

You are loved, and missed by many. But I know you live on in our hearts.

Stars

"Good friends are like stars... you don't always see them, but you know they are always there."

-unknown

To all the stars in my life, thank you. I would not be the person I am today without each and every one of you.

Springtime

Two Years

Two years. Two years have passed since Miss Q entered our world. It hardly seems possible, I can't fully believe it, that already two years have gone by. It seems like just yesterday she was born, making tiny gurgly baby noises, learning where her hands were. Yet at the same time, it doesn't seem like there was ever a time when she wasn't in my life, shouting "mommy!" and checking to see if I'm "k?" when I cough.

The past two years have been like no other. As cliche as it may sound, she truly has changed my life. My life was great before, don't get me wrong. But she makes it better. I have learned so much from this tiny little person, so many things I never realized I needed to learn, nor did I think I could learn. I have learned that I can take care of someone else, be responsible for another life. And that not only can I do it, but that I'm good at it. I've learned that while it may hurt me if people question the way I parent, or a decision Luke and I make, that in the end, it doesn't matter because Q is thriving, and it's not their call. I've learned that I do possess that magical "mommy" power to make an hurt better with a hug. I've learned that in some ways I am exactly like my own mother, both in ways I wanted to be, and never imagined I'd be. I've learned that I can balance a career and still be a good mom, and that choosing to do both doesn't make me a bad person or a bad mom. I've learned that even if I miss a few of her "firsts", that I'm still tops in her eyes, and that the guilt I put on myself comes from me, never her. I've learned that no matter how rough of a day I might have had at work, that it is erased when I hear the patter of her feet and a 'mommy!' as I come through the door.


I'm not so naive that I don't realize that it won't always be like this. That in the years ahead she and I will butt heads, she won't believe how out of touch I am and will declare that I'm the most awful mother out there. And if she does, then I've done my job I suppose, and I know she'll move past it and underneath the angst she still loves me. But I've got time before that happens, and for now, I'll enjoy my baby girl. So big, yet still so little. I love you little Q. Thank you for being you, thank you for teaching me about me, and I can't wait to see the person you become.

Pig Tails

A 22 month old's dictionary...

I'm realizing now that Q is talking more, that there are certain things she says which to me seem completely normal, yet to most other people, they would not make sense. Here's a few items from Q's dictionary...

Go Go- 1. Gomez, the family dog; 2. well, any dog actually; 3. her purple pajamas, that have a dog print; 4. the beloved children's book "The Pokey Little Puppy".

Bubbles- 1. The small spheres that float through the air; 2. soap suds, during a bath; 3. polka dots, on socks, t-shirts, pajamas, etc.

Bob- 1. A belly, anyone's belly.

Mommy- 1. Most frequently, me, her mother; 2. At bedtime, the book "My World" (the author's photo is on the back, it's a woman, so it's 'Mommy').

Jumpy- 1. to jump; 2. a small knit square that she likes to make dance.

Via- short for Olivia- 1. Olivia, the TV show or book, 2. any TV show.

Baby- 1. a doll; 2. a stuffed animal; 3. any child close to her age.

Yellow- 1. Yellow pacifier; 2. yellow spoon; 3. yellow bowl; 4. yellow socks; 5. yellow shirt.

Elmo- 1. The lovable red monster from Sesame Street; 2. her toothbrush and/or toothpaste.

Peek a Boo...

Best of the Decade- in my opinion...

It seems like as 2009 came to a close and 2010 started, everyone seemed to be making lists, trying to compile 10 years into 10 bullet points, trying to prove why their list is better than anyone else's. After an interesting conversation with friends about music, and the discussion as to what were the top 10 albums of the decade, I've decided to add my own ideas.

Please note, these may not be the most amazing albums of the decade, or the most critically acclaimed, but these are the ten that made the biggest difference in my life, the ones that stayed on heavy rotation, and probably still have a home in my car.

10. Radiohead- Hail to the Thief -This is a toughie, as they released four albums in the 2000s, and admittedly, I am a bigger fan of their 90s work, but I can't leave them off the list. (And I have a special spot in my heart to Hail to the Thief as it relates to the 2004 election.)

9. Vampire Weekend- Vampire Weekend- I know Contra has since been released, but I have an affinity for their first release. It's rare that I'll listen to an album, and immediately want to listen to it again, and again, and again. I actually recall texting my sister after the first or second listen saying "get this!"

8. Kings of Leon- Because of the Times- Their third release, while I liked the first and second album, it wasn't until Because of the Times that I really, truly HAD to listen to KOL. It might be because "On Call" seemed to randomly get stuck in my head, but this one my favorite of their releases. And given the popularity of Only by the Night, they still felt like "my" band when this one came out.

7. Gomez- In Our Gun- They also had several releases in the 2000s, but In Our Gun remains one of my favorite of their albums. I was lucky enough to see them many times during this past decade too, and they remain one of the few bands that I must see when they come near us. (Split the Difference came in a close second, it was a tough call).

6. Death Cab for Cutie- Plans- Was Plans their best album of the decade? Some may argue no, it was their first major label album, which may cause some to shy away. But for me, it was solid, start to finish, and still gets played with regularity. "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" is one of my favorite songs to this day.

5. Interpol- Turn on the Bright Lights- While all three Interpol albums came out in the last decade, their first still remains closest to me. It's not that I didn't like the other two, but there's something about the tracks on Turn on the Bright Lights that keep them as my favorites in the Interpol catalog.

4. The Shins- Chutes Too Narrow- It's tough for me to pick just one Shins album, as I truly liked all three, but there's something about Chutes Too Narrow that pulls it to the top of the pile for me at least.

3. Postal Service- Give Up- Admittedly, I'll pretty much go for anything that Ben Gibbard is involved with, but Postal Service blew me away, and I liked them before I really knew he was involved. This album, released in 2003 still makes me wish for more, and makes me think "2003? That's not possible", I don't think it's left my car since it was released.

2. Fiona Apple- Extraordinary Machine- Oh Fiona, why only one album? Why only three total? You know you could release so many more and I would love them all. From the first chords of "Extraordinary Machine", to the amazing video for "Not About Love", there is only good on this album in my book.

1. Wilco- Yankee Hotel Foxtrot- I was a latecomer to Wilco, I had heard earlier songs and liked them, but it wasn't until Yankee Hotel Foxtrot that I truly fell in love. (Thank you Luke, for introducing me to them). I could listen to this album every day and not grow tired of it. In my book, their best release. But, that might stem from personal connections as well.

Honorable Mentions to- Feist- The Reminder; Gomez- Split the Difference; The Shins- Oh, Inverted World; The New Pornographers- Twin Cinema; Sufjan Stevens- Illinois; Phoenix- Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix; The White Stripes- White Blood Cells; Iron & Wine- Our Endless Numbered Days.

As I said, these are certainly not the most daring, critically acclaimed albums, but they are my top 10... at least right now... I may change my mind if I reflect further on this.