The past two years have been like no other. As cliche as it may sound, she truly has changed my life. My life was great before, don't get me wrong. But she makes it better. I have learned so much from this tiny little person, so many things I never realized I needed to learn, nor did I think I could learn. I have learned that I can take care of someone else, be responsible for another life. And that not only can I do it, but that I'm good at it. I've learned that while it may hurt me if people question the way I parent, or a decision Luke and I make, that in the end, it doesn't matter because Q is thriving, and it's not their call. I've learned that I do possess that magical "mommy" power to make an hurt better with a hug. I've learned that in some ways I am exactly like my own mother, both in ways I wanted to be, and never imagined I'd be. I've learned that I can balance a career and still be a good mom, and that choosing to do both doesn't make me a bad person or a bad mom. I've learned that even if I miss a few of her "firsts", that I'm still tops in her eyes, and that the guilt I put on myself comes from me, never her. I've learned that no matter how rough of a day I might have had at work, that it is erased when I hear the patter of her feet and a 'mommy!' as I come through the door.
I'm not so naive that I don't realize that it won't always be like this. That in the years ahead she and I will butt heads, she won't believe how out of touch I am and will declare that I'm the most awful mother out there. And if she does, then I've done my job I suppose, and I know she'll move past it and underneath the angst she still loves me. But I've got time before that happens, and for now, I'll enjoy my baby girl. So big, yet still so little. I love you little Q. Thank you for being you, thank you for teaching me about me, and I can't wait to see the person you become.
